May 26

Five Years And Counting: Part Five

I started this post over a year ago, when I was looking for a new Doctor for treatment for depression and generalized anxiety disorder. The month of  May is also Mental Health Awareness month, and I think it is important to get the conversation started.

acceptance and moving on…

I might never be o.k. and that is o.k.

There is no finality to depression. There is no end game to complete. There is no task or trinket that can make it all disappear. However, it can be managed.

It still isn’t easy.

I take my medication every single day. I have my bad days and my good. I keep trying though, and I show up even when I wish I wouldn’t. I keep in touch with my new Doctor, and journal through my days to keep watch when my symptoms are acting up. I try to be honest about how I am actually doing. I struggle…

I still have lost minutes, months, and days. My short term memory is zapped, I’m exhausted during the day, and can’t sleep at night. I still take my medicine, and show up when I don’t want to.

I keep trying to get better…

I don’t know just where my mind will let my life be in the next few years. I try best to focus on the here and now. I show up, I take my meds, I hope to get better.

I watch my kids grow, and change, and I pray that they aren’t unhealthy like me. I hope that these genes will live only in me, and they won’t struggle like I did for so many decades. I show up, I take my meds, and I hope it will help.

I might never be better, and that’s o.k., I show up I take my meds, and I live with depression and anxiety…

I keep trying;

 

 

 

 

 

 

May 23

In The Garden: Part 2 (April)

I have a few more photos to share from our neck of the woods. Well, from our little part of Kansas.

We transplanted the tomato seedlings, and Dylan brought me a bunch of Marigold’s that his class had sprouted as an early Mother’s Day gift.

Our little Lilac bloomed for just a quick minute. The Lilac bush is one of my very favorites in the shady North garden.

Thanks to all of the rain, we had Wild Violets pop up all over the yard. They are so lovely.

We added a few planters by the bird feeders. I tried to find some blooms and blossoms that hummingbirds might visit.

The little songbirds love the new plants so far. I really hope we see some hummingbirds and butterflies soon.

 

May 22

In The Garden: part 1

Our garden is growing, and blooming. Hopefully we’ll see some hummingbirds and butterflies soon.

We started a few little seedlings in the house.

We only had a few sprout, and we transplanted then when they grew tall enough.

The sweet peas found a little home in the foyer window. I moved them to the front porch once the frost was gone.

Cupcake our little backyard Chickadee keeps watch.

We visited lots of local garden centers.

I picked up lots of blooms for the butterfly garden in the backyard.

We stopped off at another center, and I browsed for more ideas.

I love these little yellow blooms.

These paper blooms were beautiful.

We picked up some White Roses to remember Mia.

I’ll have some more photos up soon. Today I’ve got to get to weeding all of the beds.

 

May 19

April’s Vegan Meals: Part 4

Here are the last of my foodie photos from the month of April. I was really happy to be completely vegan for four months. I’m keeping with it, even though it is driving my family crazy.

This crazy tasty meal was indeed ALL vegan! I had a veggie burger, pasta salad, pickled okra, and baked potato wedges. Seriously, completely, and entirely vegan.

I had a little pasta salad leftover, so I added in some capers, artichoke hearts, capers, and my favorite pasta sauce. I also ate it cold, I love tomato sauce cold.

I made some Baked Panko Breaded tofu-sticks, roasted cauliflower, and Jasmine Rice. The kids even tried a tiny bit of Tofu, and they kinda liked it. I loved it, and I will be making this again.

Our favorite grocery store has been running some crazy deals on fruits, veggies, tofu, and vegan cheese. We picked up a pretty big watermelon for just a few bucks. It was delicious.

Avocados were also on sale, and I bought as many as the deal would let me. I made a super simple all green salad of Artichoke Hearts, and Avocado. My goodness, this was good. It is also getting way too hot to cook in Kansas, so I am always looking for a cool dish to throw together.

Well, May is in full swing, the kids are out of school, and I basically live in the kitchen. I occasionally get out of the house to go to the grocery store. Oh goodness, this has been a long month already.