May 6

Mental Health Awareness Month

May is Mental Health Awareness month, and I’m sharing my struggles right now…

I’m headed to the Doctor tomorrow for prescription refills, and a check-up/check in , and all I can say is I really don’t feel well. I’m nervous about talking with the Doctor again, as I haven’t improved. I’m disappointed in myself that I haven’t improved. It’s frustrating, and unnerving, and I have to go.

I have new symptoms, and old symptoms creeping back in again. I don’t know what she is going to say about it all. I’m already feeling rough. I hate this part of my life.

 

 

 

Apr 24

I’m Not Better

Eighteen days left to the school year, and I ‘m still not better… I’m tired, anxious, and absolutely dreading the months ahead.

Summer is when my depression peaks and seasonal affective disorder has me in it’s grip. I’m usually feeling better by September or October, but this year feeling better never happened.

Days blurred into one another and exhaustion set in. Mind numbing tasks abounded, but there wasn’t really anything to look forward too. The loud sounds of the house send me into a disassociated state, and all I want to do is sleep.

I don’t feel good about the oncoming Summer…

Mar 22

The Days Are A Blur

This month has been constantly busy with Dentist appointments, school events, and then Spring Break arrived. I have been just trying my best to keep up with the day to day of the household, but I’ve fallen behind.

I am relieved that Spring has arrived. Winter is usually pretty kind to my mental health, but this winter did not fare too well. I’ve been in a major depressive state since July 2018, and I just can’t seem to pull out of it.

Once the kids are back in school, and forensics tournaments have slowed a bit, I’ll check in with my doctor and see what it going on in noggin land.

I hope the spring weather is treating you kindly, and before we know it another month has flown by.

Mar 1

Hello March

I am truly thankful that it is March, and I made it through February. February was one of those months in a cycle of the last eight months where everything was just miserable. The weather was miserable, the fever-cold-bug hit, the kids were mad all of the time, and I was a wreck, but today it is March, and I am hopeful.

Feb 25

Another month has gone by

I am seriously bad about posting. February is almost finished and I think this is just my second post for the month. It is strange, there is something constantly going on, but none of it involves me, just me driving everywhere.

Also we’ve had a run in with a nasty cold, so far Dylan and Thade are in the clear. Agnes ran a fever for three days, and James and I were wiped out with it too. I have a good eight loads of laundry waiting for me to catch up.

The kids are constantly busy right now. Thade is competing in Forensics on Friday’s and Saturday’s, that means late nights and very early mornings. He is doing fantastic though, he already has three medals in his first two competitive weekends.

Dylan keeps busy online playing Fortnite , and catching up lots and lots of homework. This first year in middle school has been a challenge.

Agnes is hoping to compete in the Spelling Bee this year. She is sorta enjoying Girl Scouts, we started delivering cookies last week, but then the cold bug hit. I hope we can get all of the local deliveries done this week.

As for me… I’m hanging in there. I have my good days and bad. This Winter has been a difficult one, and my seasonal affective disorder that usually goes away this by Summer’s end has caused me a mess of trouble. I’m going back to the doctor next month, and hopefully we can figure out what is going on.

Other than that, we’ve been stuck in most of the winter. The kids have missed several days of school due to the freezing temperatures and the ice. It has been a very long winter.