Category Archives: Mental Health

Mar 10

I’ve Been Gone…

Well, I’ve been here, but I’ve been gone…

For the last three weeks my depression and anxiety have been acting up quite badly. I’ve struggled to stay awake most days, and I’ve felt completely miserable.

During the daytime I’m completely exhausted and listless. It is almost impossible to complete a task, or chore. Most days I’m too wiped out to brush my teeth, and my hair is always a tangled mess on top of my head.

I’m behind on everything, and I feel guilty for it.

But at night, the anxiety hits…

I’m up almost every two hours, and I’m so jittery I can barely lie down. My mind races from one thing to the next, and my limbs ache to get up and move. I have horrible nightmares, and headaches when the morning arrives.

It really sucks right now, and I’m so very tired of it.

 

 

Dec 26

The Day After

I’m happy that Christmas is over… I know it sounds mean, grinch-like, and not so friendly, but I’m really glad that it is. Yesterday began way too early (3:00 a.m.), and I was completely drained before 6:00 a.m., the kids were melting down before lunch was ready, and we still had family to entertain. The house was a complete mess, the kids were exhausted and had way too much sugar, even us grown-ups were cranky and moody. I was ready to take off my mask of Christmas cheer, and call it a night.

Now, there are a few things that I do like about Christmas. I love spending time with my family, and hanging out with my little nieces. I love making favorite dishes for my family. I also love the lights, and simple decorations. What I’m not a fan of is the competitive shopping, competetive present giving, and filling the void with stuff. I have a lot of issues with consumerism in general, and Christmas is just overwhelming. I’m sad that we have gotten so far away from everything that truly is important, and we spend our time shopping, returning, and all of that other nonsense.

Today, I woke up, still sore and tired, but felt a little better. All of the stresses of being perfect and hostessing duties were finished, and I was ready to get the house back together. I’ve spent the morning diffusing tantrums, and taking out the trash. The house is slowly coming back together, and I hope my mind will soon follow.

 

 

Dec 16

Blue Christmas

I tried my best this year to keep ahead of the melancholy of the holidays, but it has arrived.

The stress, the anxiety, the stomach aches, the inability to sleep throughout the night, but the ability to sleep throughout the entire day. I hate what this does to me…

 

Aug 28

Four Days Vegan

Part of my self-care for the school year is getting my eating habits back in order. Over the Summer I was pretty bad about skipping breakfast, grabbing a soda way too many times during the day, and at night, and eating lots and lots of junk… With the kids at school I have a little more time to research meals, and get them prepped too.

That leads me to gently going vegan. I’m approaching my third year as a lacto-ovo-vegetarian, but with an egg and milk allergy, it is time to ditch the lacto-ovo part. That means learning to make lots of new dishes, and giving up on my beloved cheese pizza.

So far I’ve made it four days soda free, and fully vegan. I actually feel a lot better, and I have a bunch of energy. I don’t know how long I’ll make it, but so far so good. The downside, I’m hungry about every two hours. I walk in the morning after I drop off the kids at school, but then I’m ravenous and could eat my own arm.

I’ve been working on stocking the fridge with ready to go veggies, hummus, rice, and fresh fruit. I’m also making soups for the freezer, that way I can just reheat one while I’m making dinner for the family. There are a lot of dishes to be done, but I think this is going to be a good change for me. Or I’m completely nuts.

 

Aug 26

Self-care 2017-2018

I realized this as I was following my seven year old downstairs.

She wanted to go swimming with her brothers, but I had to get her ready first. I knew she wouldn’t be out there for more than fifteen minutes, and it takes a good fifteen minutes to get her ready to go to the pool. Nevertheless, I got her prepped for the pool, and we proceeded to head downstairs.

My glasses slipped off my nose on the way downstairs. No matter what I do, they just don’t fit quite right. My clothes were a mess, I had on a top for cleaning, and comfy pants that I was planning on sleeping in. My hair was still wet from the shower that I took earlier in the morning. I hadn’t even run a comb through my hair, I just threw it up in a wet bun on the way to wake up the kids for the day. I can’t even remember if I’ve brushed my teeth today. Damn! I’m a mess!

I’m in no way a girly-girl. I’m scared of complicated hair-styles and proper make-up, but I’m thirty-seven… Why haven’t I graduated to better self-care by now?!?

So I’ve decided to get out of my comfort zone, and get myself together this year. Help keep me motivated, and accountable. Leave me some tips, suggestions, or ideas to get this girl off of her butt and doing a bit better.