If 2020 has taught me anything, it is that I must do better. I must do better at being prepared for the next calamity. I must do better at keeping my kitchen stocked. I must do better at spending my time efficiently. I must do better at being organized. I simply must do better…

Then it hit me on the way to the store. I must do better at taking care of myself. Somewhere in 2020 I got lost. I was taking care of everything, and everyone, cooking the meals, hand washing dishes four times a day, sewing the masks, prepping the backpacks with necessary p.p.e., even cleaning the damn litter box before I had a cup of coffee. I was nowhere in my to do list.

I push myself lower and lower and my depression grows, my self esteem plummets, and I am tired of feeling like a human garbage dump,

So I started small… I was at the store and I purchased a three pack of my favorite lip balm, and bought some decent face cream to ease my eczema ridden cheeks. I even stopped off and bought myself a new top. It was a small step, but it was something.

I took my time and wandered through the store, everyone was still asleep at home, so there was no need to rush. I picked up fresh fruits, and enjoyed just being out of the house, by myself, for just a moment.

I drove back home with my head a little clearer. I fed the cats, let the pup out. Actually ate breakfast before tending to litter box duties. I put away the groceries, threw a second load of laundry in, hand washed all of the dishes in the kitchen, but I didn’t feel overwhelmed by any of it.

I have to do better at taking care of myself. I’ve got to get a life back.