Screaming, kicking, flailing, fighting… Tantrums, terrible two’s, the toddler blackout zone, whatever you call it, we are in it.
It started about a year ago exactly. Our sweet, smiley one and a half year old hit angry toddlerdom with a scream that could break glass. One year later, she hasn’t stopped. This Summer the tantrums have escalated, and sleepless nights full of separation anxiety have ensued.
I’ve been researching all about tantrums, how to deal with them, and what causes them, but I haven’t been able to prevent one of them… I am exhausted by my strong-willed-screaming-little gal, and I would love a tantrum free outing back. I am already worried about the back to school routine, Agnes does not want to get up, or dressed, or leave the house without a struggle. I’ve even tried taking her out for errands at all different times, they all end with an ear-shattering tantrum.
I don’t want to generalize, but girls really are different from boys. I don’t remember Thade throwing as many tantrums, but when he was little, he was the only. I remember Dylan throwing a major tantrum about every single afternoon, he didn’t want to nap, and he was exhausted, and hence the twenty minute scream-fest. Once he got it out of his system, he was good to go. Agnes will pitch a fit at the drop of a hat, about anything, I just don’t get it.
The tantrums, yes they are loud, and in public they are embarrassing, but she is two… The separation-anxiety at night is what really gets to me. Agnes fights sleep, we have the routine of bath, pj’s on, brush her teeth, read a book or two, and she is supposed to be in bed snoozing by 8:30 p.m. It seems calm, and relaxing, but as soon as I try to leave, the screaming starts. I get her calmed back down, and one of the boys will come by her room to ask a question, then the screaming starts up again, and once she is calm, the other little guy drops by. So of course I have to tell the boys to please stay in their room until Agnes is asleep, and then the cat will jump the gate and wake her up. Last night I sat with her for two hours until she finally gave up the grouchiness and went to sleep. She was promptly back up at 1:3o a.m., and I finally got to go back to sleep at 5:30 a.m. There is no way this is going to work when school starts…
I’m hoping that this is phase, and it will get better, but I am one frustrated mommy at the moment.
Poor Nico! My baby girl had the worst tantrums, at home, in public, everywhere! There seems to be no way to stop them, all you can do is act like you are ignoring the tantrum and stay close so she doesn’t hurt herself. Her twin brother never had a tantrum, but he would cry a lot if he didn’t want to leave a fun place ( like chuck E’s)…but he would cooperate. Then one day, when baby girl was around 3 1/2 the tantrums just disappeared. The pediatrician said that intelligent children sometimes get frustrated because they can not verbalize their feelings to adults, so they have tantrums. As for sleeping, I did not have an uninterrupted night of sleep until my kids turned 4 yrs. old. But it gets better, as you know! Good luck with this phase, it will eventually pass and Agnes will be all sunshine and smiles. Good times! The tantrums just make our kids more precious, don’t you agree?
I hate to impart advice, Nicole, but I would let the little lady cry. I know it’s heart breaking to hear it and it keeps the other kids up, but give it two nights (tops) and you won’t believe how easy the following nights will be.
And of course I only suggest it because it sounds like you’re at the end of your rope. I went through this with Kylie: two nights of sitting outside her bedroom door for 2-3 hours, steering her back into her bed when she tried to make a break for it. Not one word after the first good night/kiss on the cheek, just redirection. I had just had enough and couldn’t imagine going one more night like that. I was frazzled. My mom thought I was horrible, but whatever. I just couldn’t take it anymore. This was also the child who didn’t see a mall/grocery store between age 18 months – 2.5 years because she would “do the funky chicken”(Scott-speak for ‘tantrum’)at every opportunity. Can you believe this is the same kid whom, at age 14, makes herself a cup of tea and takes a bubble bath when she is upset now? Then she goes to bed early with a good book. Maybe I broke her :/ .
In the end, you need to do what feels right for you. I wish you the best 🙂