My husband: What are you doing?

Me: Putting on makeup…

My husband: Why?

Me: So I don’t look like a couch-loving zombie house-troll when I go out in public.

My husband: You look weird with makeup on… 

Me: ???? Weird how? Like I’m wearing someone else’s face?

My husband: Not exactly, I just like you best without makeup, you know all natural. 

Me: Really?!? That’s really sweet. 

My husband: You don’t own any lipstick do you???

Me: Nope, I am one weird girl…