Five Years And Counting: Part Two

This is an ongoing post, all about my noggin…

Diagnosis time, and new meds too.

After a lot of tears, and a thorough appointment. My doctor diagnosed me with generalized anxiety disorder, and severe depression. I also had agoraphobia, dermatillomania, obsessive compulsive disorder, and social anxiety disorder.

She also made me feel better… She said that due to my family history, I was genetically predisposed to the disorder, and that it was truly an imbalance that wasn’t my fault. She also said that we would start treatment… I also needed to schedule an appointment in about a year to discuss my treatment.

We tried one medication, but I ended up having an allergic reaction to it, so we tried another one. I was also given a second medication to treat my anxiety. The new medicines made me sleepy, and very sick to my stomach. The first month on my meds I lost about twenty six pounds. I was still having panic attacks, and ultimately my doctor and I decided it was best to be on a stronger dosage.

I also became very forgetful, my short-term memory was non-existent, and my moods very pretty varied. I would by trying my best to keep down a cup of tea while I fixed dinner for my family. I just remember being completely exhausted.

Three months in to treatment, things did start to improve. As my brain got used to the medication, my nausea let up. I only needed to take the second prescription as needed for anxiety. It still had a strong hold on me. Social outings would leave me in sweaty shambles, and I could barely make it though a parent-teacher conference without crying from being afraid. I couldn’t even visit a friend’s house for a play-date with the kids without downing a bottle of pepto. But it was better that it was a few months ago.

Sleep returned, and it was easy because I was constantly tired. The nightly panic attacks eventually faded away too. I learned to make constant notes on my phone, and a notebook in my purse, so I wouldn’t be so forgetful. My skin started healing on my arms, and I was no longer scratching my noggin. I even took up crochet to keep my hands busy. I had also read that knitting and crochet were found to ease depression and anxiety as well as help rebuild neuro connections. My broken brain needed that.

It took a full nine months before I started to feel better. But I was starting to feel better.




One thought on “Five Years And Counting: Part Two

  1. My heart goes out to you,Nicole. I am so sorry for all that you have had to go through. But I am also grateful that you are so brave.

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